I am with E, half-lost in a neighborhood I have not been in for years. This was my first office in Moscow, beyond a guard and a series of gates, behind crumbling walls and tall ceilings. A narrow room was there, with my things scattered around like trophies. Fancy books, a guitar leaning in a corner. I worked in the oppressive summer heat, in the dusty cold of autumn, and then the bottom fell out. Betrayals, outright lies, scandals, midnight calls of desperation, me wandering out into the courtyard to have hushed conversations that no one could overhear. And then a friend's car was pulled up at the first snow, and everything was packed in. Computers, screens, hard drives, and the rest. I had killed myself there, literally working until I passed out in a meeting and hit the concrete floor with a hard whack. When I came to, I tried to finish the meeting, I am no quitter. I was brought to the hospital that night. When I came back a week later, one of my cameras was gone.
But there were kind faces there. People you waited to have lunch with, marching together down the sidewalk deciding which place to go to, if there was time for a leisurely beer or if we would scarf down some soup and head back.
E drinks all of the old stories in, some anecdotes making her smirk more than others. After I left, I had some need of equipment, and there were deals I made in the street passing cash for master tapes with someone loyal on the inside. It was like a Graham Greene novel, but far more innocent. And yes, there were men in white suits with Panama hats. Those are quite common here, don't ask me why.
The way back to the metro reveals itself. Where there were dusty shawarma stands and dimly lit convenient stores, now there is a Starbucks and a place to buy overpriced moleskins and imported candies. The tunnel is the same, a trough on each side of the long hall that people used to pee in on a Saturday night. This is where I saw
the man leading the donkey into the metro, maybe my first post here. I dare not read the old story, worried that I got something wrong in this version. Or that nothing has changed.
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