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How I left America, and my adventures in Moscow as a husband, father and artist.
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FAR TOO SAD
For years I have avoided mirrors. I am not the man in the reflection. His face turns in on itself. He is overweight. His mouth and nose grow more crooked by the year, slowly turning into a cubist painting. Someday his nose will rest on one of his ears, I think. I do not want to see him and I do not think he wants to see me.
Without the mirror, I can be this other person. He goes on adventures, and can do so much more than me. He plays piano for an entire afternoon for no reason. He writes songs that I could not, and sings them as if they are his own. But they are truly mine. He sings them quietly, unrushed. I like them on rainy days, on sunny days, late at night but never in the morning. They are far to too sad to hear in the morning.
In a few days, these songs will trickle out into the world. Strangers will hear them. They have no idea who I am and I like that very much. Just the music, the phrasing, the careful silences, maybe some of the words. Those words that are far too sad.
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