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somewhere over the rainbow (and other stories)

  Exactly two years ago I found myself flying through a corner of a rainbow, and landed in Oaxaca, Mexico. It was the last film festival I traveled to, a brutal and sweet experience in the harshest of realities, trying to wrap my arms around the slipperiest industry and failing magnificently. Surrounded by fresh faces and eager eyes I ran from the rooms and into the street time and again, wandering off with the camera in my bag as a companion. I took pictures of a blind man that sang on the same corner every day, of wedding parades, of an old woman waiting to see the dentist.  Literally somewhere over the rainbow, I met the ugliest answers to questions I had been dragging my feet towards for years. Cramming the most delicious food into my mouth, joking at the nightly rooftop cocktail parties, grinning like the Cheshire Cat it was all coming to an end. Actually, it had ended before it even started though - and on the plane back to New York and finally Moscow the bone-crunching undertow

white nights



3AM and the edges of the sky are growing brighter. It is always disorienting, this clumsy dance between day and night. The floor keeps moving. The earth itself is tilting, or drifting until it corrects itself, until it comes back. It is light when it should be dark, it gets dark when it should be light. We are just on for the ride, mice on a sinking ship. 

Those blue bits of sky suddenly stand for so much. Can they be hopeful, or surprising? Are they actually resisting? It feels like it, as I turn under the covers and notice them. Maybe they are watching the drama unfold - the whole crazy show, playing out with no intermission just war and disease, fear, anger, hate, paranoia, and an ocean of desperate acts. The clouds are justing hanging there like angels, saying nothing. 

This in-between moment is the world flipping a coin. Instead of landing on heads or tails it spins on its edge, wobbling around the table and disappearing to the floor between the legs of chairs. 

There are no easy answers. 




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