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somewhere over the rainbow (and other stories)

  Exactly two years ago I found myself flying through a corner of a rainbow, and landed in Oaxaca, Mexico. It was the last film festival I traveled to, a brutal and sweet experience in the harshest of realities, trying to wrap my arms around the slipperiest industry and failing magnificently. Surrounded by fresh faces and eager eyes I ran from the rooms and into the street time and again, wandering off with the camera in my bag as a companion. I took pictures of a blind man that sang on the same corner every day, of wedding parades, of an old woman waiting to see the dentist.  Literally somewhere over the rainbow, I met the ugliest answers to questions I had been dragging my feet towards for years. Cramming the most delicious food into my mouth, joking at the nightly rooftop cocktail parties, grinning like the Cheshire Cat it was all coming to an end. Actually, it had ended before it even started though - and on the plane back to New York and finally Moscow the bone-crunching undertow
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finding time


Climbing the stairs, there is an abandoned set of drawers by the window. A picture rests on it, an older man an older woman and a little girl. They could be her grandparents, it is hard to say. They gaze into the camera with kind eyes, hands caught in perfect grace. It might have been taken a few years ago or thirty. Now it sits in a hallway, an oddly displayed giveaway - junk.

Upstairs I rehearse the song I will record next. I need to play it slower, yet fill up the spaces between the lines and the chords. It is a song with an internal clock, its own inertia - but just like an old wristwatch it depends on a fragile mechanism to work. I stomp one heel on the floor, thinking this might help. It sounds nice, but it is not the answer. I think of a man that died last week, his great round face and the smile that flashed there so often. I think of him in clean white sheets in a hospital bed. I wonder what he asked to eat, what he was hungry for. In my mind, there were birds outside his window.
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