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the lost years

I spent almost 25 years living alone in New York. There might be a moment on a shoot, when it became clear we would be running late. Phones were slid from pockets, as the crew had hushed conversations with their loved ones. That solemn, apologetic tone was the same no matter who was talking as they answered the question "When will you be home?" I had no one, nothing but an empty apartment and some dirty dishes. I had half-written books, and guitars leaning against the walls. There was film in the cameras, waiting to be developed.

I have almost no memory of these years now.

Right now, V is sick. Nothing terrible, but enough to stay home and parade around the apartment in her favorite pyjamas. N is cooking various treats for her, unable to predict which one she will actually eat. The doorbell rings, and it might be a doctor visiting from the local clinic but it is her sister. The rooms are full of conversation and fresh cups of coffee. I try not to step on the toys that are a…

Silver Street


Somehow, I am still there. We are taking a walk on Silver Street late in the afternoon. There are stray cats, and the sound of children playing. The smell of wood smoke, and fresh bread, of salt and coriander are wrapping around the parked cars, the crumbling walls, the peeling paint of Tbilisi. My stomach is still full from lunch. I just want coffee, cold and sweet. 

The streets are somehow familiar even though it has been a few years. My feet know the way, predicting the apartments around a corner. A balcony, some wash swinging in a low breeze. A courtyard lost in shadow. An old man with no shirt on carrying a bottle of wine. 

There is a rhythm to the days in Georgia. Yes, work gets done but somehow it feels so effortless. There are faces in the street that are not worried, or scared, not nervous, not looking at you out of the corner of their eye. Yes, the cars drive fast but I do not hear the angry bleat of a horn. I do not hear the ugly squeal of tires. I hear laughter, a breeze, a dog barking. 

Someone is selling raspberries. 



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