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Breathing the right air

Nothing brings more comfort than a bag of good things to cook, swinging under your arm as you make your way home. Somehow it blots out the rest of the world. In these moments, the entire universe consists of a late afternoon sun, a stray dog and a clump of flowers growing strange and wild in a yard. A hit of basil jumps from my elbows with each swing of the bag, a gift from one of the ladies I buy from the most. I visit markets without intention, just eyes open ready to discover fresh peas, or the first corn. Knowing that these products will disappear as quickly as they present themselves creates a certain form of excitement. Each season offers up this rhythm and without it I might become completely lost.

I think of when we were in Tuscany a month ago, feeling like such a tourist until I wandered out along the highway and found the local vegetable stand. I shoved squash blossoms and tiny tomatoes into a bag, rushing back to our room like I had robbed a bank. I made pasta with them th…

the zoo

There is a moment when I wake from each dream in the series, pausing in the dark room and adjusting to the drapes as I fumble for my watch. It is New York in them, autumn. I am on high floors. All of the lights are off. There are feats of strength. There are gunshots, plans, schemes, tiny voices in my head telling me to turn left or right. In one, a truck of giant spaghetti is dumped into a river, and gets cooked in the cold water somehow then draped across a log that spans a waterfall. In another I find an extra room in my apartment, an apartment I never actually lived in.

The sky and the river are cold and flat.
The air is hard and cold but the door to the balcony is left open. We huddle against each other under the comforter, feeling that pressure to bear the cold for a taste of fresh air until the very end, until we become zoo animals under dirty glass.
I curl my feet under hers, and then she curls hers under mine.


Headaches are pressed aside.
Coffee tastes bitter.
The apartment is a cascading mess and a pair of new shoes stand in a doorway, practically talking to me.

I wander the rooms, restless after everyone has gone to sleep.






Comments

liv said…
Oh, that made me laugh. Dreams, they are so hard to understand sometimes and then again, once in a while they tell something you Need to know and you are grateful for the revelation. Usually I just can't remember them and get frustrated with the struggle to untangle the threads.

But that last line was wonderful. "I wander the rooms, restless after everyone has gone to sleep." That's you, Marco. That's just you in a nutshell: so much that you want to do, see, tell. A superhero on a mission. But rest is good, hope you get some.

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